Want to Date Online? Buckle Up With this Essential Teen Dating Advice!

This article presents some important advice to those teenagers interested in using the Internet as a means for meeting other people.

Nowadays, everything seems to be facilitated by the Internet. You can buy or sell a car from the comfort of your own home; you can even learn how to drive without getting up from your chair! You can learn the theory behind operating a car, as well as what all those road signs and markings mean, but do you really believe that this kind of activity could possibly be driven by cyber space? Does dating online parallel your thoughts about finding a car on the Internet? Online dating is as popular as ever and more and more teens are meeting their dream guys and girls through the World Wide Web. While you might think there is nothing wrong with this, there is a whole lot that can be! So, the same way Driver’s Ed prepares new drivers for their first behind-the-wheel experience, Dater’s Ed provides essential safety tips and teen dating advice to those interested in finding online romance!

Teen Dating Advice: Buckle Up!

Online dating for teens can be a great opportunity to meet like-minded people. Your school can get very small at times and it is completely understandable that you’d like to meet some different people; perhaps a girl or guy you know would share your interests. No sound teen dating advice would say otherwise. However, you must know that the Internet is a very large and complex highway, full of people going 100 miles a minute; in other words, it can be very dangerous. That said, it is critical that you buckle up and follow this teen dating advice if you are to avoid a nasty fender bender (or worse).

Teen Dating Advice: Your Teenage Dating Profile

Your teenage dating profile is essentially the way you chose to present yourself to a world of dating opportunities. You want to make your profile as attractive as possible and while there are sure-fire ways you can grab a guy’s attention, these methods also usually grab the wrong guy’s attention. My teen dating advice for girls and guys is always to keep your teenage dating profile as respectable as possible. This means that you wouldn’t turn a dangerous shade of crimson should your mother or father accidentally stumble across it!

You should also take care to honestly reflect who you are on your teenage dating profile. There are so many girls and guys out there that write false information about themselves or put up photos of someone else because they think it will make them more popular! My teen dating advice is to be yourself and be genuine in the way you conduct yourself when meeting friends over the Internet. The people you end up talking to are going to be interested in the person you have fabricated in your teenage dating profile and not you when in reality, there are hundreds of people out there that would rather be speaking with you rather than what your teenage dating profile advertised!

Teen Dating Advice: Protect Yourself

My last teen dating advice tip is that you should absolutely never ever make it possible for people to personally find you. This means no direct contact information on your teenage dating profile. Dating websites are full of unsavory characters with bad intentions and you need to keep a barrier up between these ‘sharks’ and yourself. The question to ask yourself would be this: would you ever hand out copies of your driver’s license, car registration, auto insurance policy complete with address to complete strangers? Then why would you give out vital information about yourself that is 10 times more valuable? No information about which school you go to, where you live, your cell phone number, full name or even where you like to go and hang out. Check your profile photos to be sure they do not contain “tracking” information like a letter jacket, school sign in the background or an address. This may sound like some rather strict teen dating advice, but you can never be too careful on that raging highway called the Internet.

For other teen dating advice, or to share some of your own teenage dating profile tips, visit www.datersed.com

Teen Dating Advice About Teenage Drinking: Friends Don’t let Friends DATE Drunk

This article describes the emotional and physical hazards of alcohol in teenage dating relationship by drawing parallels with drunk driving.

 

Teenage Drinking: Being Designated Driver

The problem with designated drivers is that they are often participating in the same activity along with the friends they have been enlisted to protect. For instance, say I go with a group of friends to a St. Patty’s Day party where the overwhelming theme is alcohol and teenage drinking. If I am the designated driver, how will I steer clear of the keg so that I make sure my best friend will get home safely? Am I smart and sober enough to take away her keys before she puts herself in danger? A designated driver has a tough job – stay sober, keep your friend in line, make sure she doesn’t do something stupid and then deliver her safely home so that she can sleep it off. Teenage drinking and driving, in fact drinking and driving at ANY age, is a scary thing.

If you think that’s a challenge, how do you keep your best friend from teenage drinking and DATING? When do you step in and take away the keys to their heart to keep them safe? How much influence do you have over your friend who is intoxicated with some guy she is dating? What are the chances she will be able to “sleep it off” by tomorrow?

Teen Dating Advice: Double Dating Alone

Here is the reality about dating someone who drinks excessively (and by that I do mean the legal limit). What you are actually signing up for is dating two different people at once. Yep, double dating alone. Think about it – do people act differently when they are drinking, not to mention drunk? Maybe they are shy sober and outgoing when they are drinking; happy sober and irritable when drunk… smart sober and well, just plain stupid when they have had too much to drink! Trust this teen dating advice; at some point, you have to decide which person you want to date. If you are honest and had to choose, there is one “persona” you like more than the other. If it is the sober girl, then how does teenage drinking change your social life? If it is the drunken guy, then how often do you have to keep him intoxicated to enjoy his company? Really, when it comes to teenage drinking, you are only dating half a person half of the time. Geez this teen dating advice is complicated just to write about!

Teen Dating Advice: Teenage Drinking is a Relationship Collision Course

Date a drinker and you will have more problems than you bargained for. You don’t know which personality will show up to the party. You can never be certain when the teenage drinking will stop. You have no control over how they act or what they might be willing to do when they are drunk. All rules go out the window, with common sense in hot pursuit. Trust this teen dating advice: with teenage drinking, you risk verbal and physical abuse, injury, tragic choices, devastating consequences and the list goes on. And it’s all in the name of “fun.” A speeding car wrapped around a tree stops being fun on impact. At what point does the consuming nature of alcohol in the relationship stop being fun? After someone gets hurt? When you say your vows? When the affection turns to abuse? When your children witness the fighting?

Yes, drinking and driving is extremely dangerous, so is teenage drinking and dating. The difference is that driving drunk is measurable, identifiable and within a specific time frame. Dating a drinker? Not so much.

What is your “legal limit” when it comes to teenage drinking and dating?

Any thoughts on this teen dating advice?

Mama j

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers to learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.” www.DatersEd.com

Teen Dating Help for Parents: The Changing Dating Landscape, PART 2

"This two part series explores the key differences between the dating game a decade and more ago, and the dating behaviors of the millennial teenagers."

Introduction to Teen Dating Help for Today’s Parent

In my previous article post on teen dating help for parents today, I began exploring some of the key differences between the dating landscapes now and when we, as parents, were kids. The first two important changes discussed were (1) teenagers meet and hangout in groups rather than going on one-on-one dates, and (2) the temptation to pursue a physical relationship in the afternoon (after school and before you get home from work) more so than the evening or nighttime. Teens are often revved up and heading down a dangerous road. In this article, the second and final installment of this teen dating help series, I shall discuss some of the other key shifts in the dating terrain. The goal is to equip parents with a more current understanding of the ‘dating game’ so that they can provide more appropriate and useful teen dating help to their children on their journey in life and future love.

Parenting Teens: Teen Dating Help for the 21^st Century

3. Teen Dating Help: Kids make dates and communicate by cell phones

Remember when your teen date would show up at your front door to pick you up in the ’67 Chevy? How awkward it was for him to meet your parents for the first time? Well, as awkward as that might have felt, it reinforces a feeling of responsibility in dating. It also gives those that are parenting teens the opportunity to see what kind of partner their daughter is steering toward. Now, cell phones enable teens to communicate and interact discretely; entirely away from their parent’s eyes and ears. It’s not uncommon for a boyfriend to call from the driveway, texting their date that they have arrived to pick them up, rather than knocking on the door and introducing himself to her parents! The best teen dating help you can provide your daughter with is to insist that all dates show up at the door. Yep, use those boney knuckles to knock and wait for the door to open. Face to face with the enforcer of the home who has every right to lay down the law regarding the sweet young lady about to step across the threshold of infatuation. This teen dating help is a two-way street: parents of boys should teach their sons to behave like gentlemen and brave the awkwardness to demonstrate their character to their date and her parents.

(First the front door—then the car door.) Teen guys should open the car door for their date, not because she can’t but because it shows respect.

This “detachment” is not the only problem cell phones cause. They facilitate constant communication, an artificial sense of relationship that can take the place of the necessary face-to-face conversation. So, when teens do get together, they skip straight to physical exploration. Those parenting teens would be shocked to learn how many kids use cell phones for key communications, such as asking a girl or guy out, or even as a means to deliver break up messages! My guess is that teens would rather drive a real car than a simulation game. If they want a real relationship, then trust this teen dating help: nothing beats face-to-face. “Gee, Betty, I can see by your text message your hair looks really pretty today!” “Golly, Jeffrey, I’m sure glad I can’t see you playing Xbox while we are having this heart-to-heart texting about our future goals and dreams!” Cell phones also accelerate news about parties and other social gatherings, which can distract teens from schoolwork, family time and planning for their future. The best teen dating help those parenting teens can provide is to regulate the use of cell phones. Here are some suggestions you may find helpful in creating guidelines that keep teens between the lines:

• Teen Dating Help # 1: Determine an appropriate time to end all calls on weeknights as well as weekends. After that agreed time, phone batteries are charged in the parent’s bedroom to promote a full night of sleep…for everyone!

• Teen Dating Help # 2: Family plan means you get to pay the bill AND check the bill for use. If they want privacy, then private pay comes with that privilege. If you’re parenting teens, then determine in advance if that is the best course of action for your son or daughter based on trust and maturity. Rule of thumb, if they are paying for their car, gas and insurance, they are probably ready to pay their own cell phone bill.

• Teen Dating Help # 3: Get three to five of your child’s friends’ phone numbers (both home and cell phone) for emergencies. Stuff happens and it is peace of mind for everyone to know how to reach a family member.

Cell phones allow for incredible freedom and while you don’t want your teen to feel like they are locked in the garage, they need to respect your authority. The best teen dating help is to allow your children enough freedom to grow and explore, but to strongly enforce rules that will keep them out of trouble. That is why there are “rules of the road!”

4. Teen Dating Help for Those Parenting Teens: Online Dating

The last bit of teen dating help, but certainly not the least - Instead of meeting people face-to-face and deciding, via social interaction, whether a guy or girl is compatible with them, your teens are meeting potential dates online. Those parenting teens can no more keep their kids from shopping for friends online anymore that they can keep them from shopping for cars online. It’s like nailing Jell-O to a tree! The dangers of online dating and socializing may be obvious to those parenting teens, but your kids may be completely naïve. The best teen dating help you can provide your kids with is to insist that they set their social media profile settings (for Facebook, MySpace, etc.) to private and to ignore the advances of people they do not know outside of school or their immediate friendship circles. Trust this teen dating help: the keys to the car are like the passwords to Facebook. Give both or don’t give either. They can be equally as dangerous. Also, keep the computer communal, so that your teen is accustomed to using it where you can see what they’re up to.

Some Final Teen Dating Help for Those Parenting Teens

Remember, with love, support and trust, you can teach your teen to be responsible and to make the best decisions. While the dating landscape has changed considerably, and - with the dominant role of cell phones and the Internet as today’s form of communication – teen dating can prove to be more hazardous, but there are things that those parenting teens can do to steer their kids away from the worst of it.

I hope this teen dating help helps you teach your teens to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships!”

Teen Dating Help for the Love Sick: Break-Up Blues

This article provides teenage dating advice for the all-too-familiar story of a teenage heart break experience. It concludes by giving teenage dating advice from a teenage dating coach reminding one and all that our parents are a source of comfort during times like these when teenage brain development is happening.

Teenage Dating Advice: So you need teen dating advice. You’re teenage brain inside your dating teenager is in trouble. Your teenage heart is broken and you can’t breathe. You have tunnel vision and nothing really seems to matter. Food is tasteless, music physically hurts and your parents just don’t understand. In fact, they don’t even seem to care that you are shattered, devastated, broken. Teenage dating relationships stink!

Seeking Teen Dating Advice: The Beginning

You have fallen madly in love with the girl or boy you have had your eyes on for two years and finally, at the beginning of Grade 8, you ended up sitting next to each other in Math class. They got to know you a little better, you made them laugh; you even let them copy your homework on more than one occasion (ok, fine… every morning… but they’re good at other things!) Then, comes Valentine’s Day, you take the plunge and strategically sneak a note into their pencil case. The ensuing day is interminable. Time passes with the consistency of thick and viscous gloop. You carry your eyeballs around on stalks, lest your love interest walk by and try and communicate an answer with you. But, alas… the school day is over and you will have to wait.

Seeking Teen Dating Advice: The Response

Your teenage brain wakes you up with a knot in your stomach. You get ready for school and over-dose on the perfume and toothpaste. You arrive at school wringing your hands, desperately searching the crowds for your crush. The bell tolls for Math class and your time has come. Walking into the room, you see all the familiar faces and mathematical algorithms, equations and calculations on the chalkboard. Pretending to be completely cool in spite of desperately needing teen dating advice, you take your seat next to the girl or boy of your dreams… did they even find the letter? Will they talk to me? You turn to look at them and find him/her already looking at you… and just as your heart is about to shatter, they smile: “The answer is yes”!

Seeking Teen Dating Advice: The Romance

The following three weeks are a kaleidoscope of kisses, elation, invulnerability, love, happiness and everything that is fuzzy and hops around with an Easter egg in a basket. But like a butcher knife that cleaves your heart in two, your happy union - like so many teenage dating relationships before - comes to a sudden and totally unforeseeable end: “You’re a great guy/girl and all, but I’m not ready for this”…

Teen Dating Advice: You’re not alone

Sound familiar? Men and women of all ages have all felt the keen edge of love’s merciless blade. But, if there is one thing that you need to understand during this heart-wrenching time, it’s that you are not alone and your teenage brain development needs to be guided. The two people who are closest to you in this world have themselves had their hearts broken. If you’re looking for teen dating advice and comfort, you should use this opportunity to become closer to your mom and dad. Don’t allow the pain you feel from teenage dating relationships to creep into your home and family. All the teen dating advice you need to get over a heart break can be found in the love your parents provide and in the knowledge that they understand what you’re going through (www.datersed.com).

Parenting Teens: Seatbelts and Other Restraints

"This article discusses the safety concerns in dating and using restraint to keep teens safe."

Parenting teens in the 1970’s was a whole different concept. For instance, my parents never told me to wear a seatbelt; I’m not even sure if we had them in our station wagon! Seatbelts and bike helmets were a joke when I was in high school and certainly not cool to wear. Parenting teens through the risk-taking years was probably far more challenging than my parents realized at the time.

The invention of the seatbelt got me thinking about restraints in general and how parenting teens is impacted by the ability to keep teens safe. Teen dating advice may not come in the form of a 3-point harness and a buckle, but there is some wisdom that can be applied to help keep teens from tragic mistakes.

A seatbelt is used to limit mobility and hold a person in place. Forcing a 30-year-old to “buckle up” when he has never worn a seatbelt before is much more difficult than implementing the use of seatbelts from a very early age. Today, even some of the most defiant teens will get in the car and put on their seatbelt without even thinking about it. This exercise began as an infant and now has become a subconscious discipline every time they get in the car. Doesn’t it make sense then to practice healthy teen dating advice and limits well before there is a struggle? Cribs have bars, yards have fences and seatbelts keep our children from climbing over the front seat while we are driving down the freeway. These are clearly safe practices. Parenting teens by using intangible restraints is much harder to enforce but equally as vital.

Parental controls on the computer, charging your son’s cell phone in your bedroom instead of his and limiting the amount of time they can talk on the phone may invite pushback at first but the earlier you implement and enforce the rules, the sooner it will become a habit. Go through the mental checklist you currently use when parenting teens and see what restraints you have imposed – especially when it comes to teen dating advice. “Jenna, I would really appreciate if Jake could bring you home by 10 but I understand if you don’t feel like it. Oh, and by the way, you don’t have to wear your seatbelt in his car either if it is too restrictive.”

Parenting teens holds a great deal of responsibility not only to your own child but the other person your teen will date one day. If your teen is not accustomed to limits, they will likely rebel against any rules and gravitate to others that support their self-indulgence.

 Seatbelts are meant to keep people safe, not wrinkle their clothes. Seatbelt laws are enforced by authorities. Teen dating advice is meant to help kids keep from fatal disasters, not dictate what they can wear on a date. Teen dating limits should be enforced by parents. Evaluate the boundaries you have in place and determine whether or not there needs to be an adjustment. Understanding the difference between a good restraint and a frivolous request will make life much simpler for those parenting teens.

Send me your thoughts on this story!

Remember – safe teen dating does not happen by accident!

Lisa Jander – The Teen Whisperer

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers to learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.” www.DatersEd.com

Parenting Teens: Did the Wheels Fall Off?

 
This article discusses the underlying problems that contribute to the challenges of parenting teens.

“I thought I knew how to handle parenting teens. My daughter has perfect grades, has always been very responsible, all her teachers love her and then last week the wheels fell off!”

Parenting teens can feel like driving the Autobahn blindfolded. One sharp curve and it’s a crisis! How can any parent feel in control when they are driving with their eyes closed? They can’t! Yet I coach many families that are under the impression that parenting teens is like cruise control and once set, the road ahead will be paved with love and lollipops. Once the teenage brain is in full gear, that bubble of bliss will burst like a balloon on a bed of nails!

In reality, the wheels don’t just “fall off” a car. Somewhere, sometime, a lug nut loosened just enough to give way to a really big problem. It is a gradual, ever so slight quarter turn of events that might go undetected for months, maybe even years. It is often very hard to pinpoint the cause or when it happened; the important thing is to perform frequent evaluations to make sure no screws are loose. Look for evidence of things that need to be tightened up and then make the adjustment. Maintenance is ALWAYS better than repair!

It is the same with parenting teens. Josh didn’t just accidently, one day, out of the blue decide to smoke pot. His friends helped loosen the lug nut, “Come on, Josh! This weed is sick! Totally makes you chill and nothing matters, dude!” Josh has been exposed to the idea of pot for years and secretly wants to see what it’s like to his teenage brain. And so the loosening begins.

So how do we go about parenting teens and minimize the risk of having the wheels fall off? Can we ratchet down the screws to insure our teen is safe? Will too much tension to the teenage brain only create another problem?

Think of it this way…when a wheel is loose, a good mechanic doesn’t tell you the little noises you hear are just in your imagination. By getting “up close and personal,” he will perform a thorough inspection to diagnose the problem.  Most likely he will go to the extent of disassembling some things to really get to the root of the problem before something major happens. He might even point out that the lug nut was not only loose, but that it was missing and then caution you on how dangerous that could have been. “Well, Mrs. Reynolds, if Josh kept hanging around those friends who were smoking pot and you didn’t take a closer look, he could have been in real trouble. Just a little adjustment and now you are good to go!”

By routinely going over a safety checklist, identifying the problem and not over-correcting, parenting teens can become a series of minor adjustments instead of a complete overhaul. The key is to stay tuned-in to the little rumblings that indicate there is a screw loose somewhere in that teenage brain and not parenting teens by simply waiting for the wheels to fall off.
   
Send me your thoughts on this story!

Remember – safe teen dating does not happen by accident!

Lisa Jander – The Teen Whisperer

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers to learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.”
www.DatersEd.com

Teen Dating Advice and the Teenage Brain: “Sexy Sells-Part 1”

Teen Dating Advice and the Teenage Brain: Sexy Sells, Part 1

Ever wonder why you see a beautiful woman standing beside every beautiful car at a car show? That’s easy - Pheromones and Oxytocin. Yep, it’s the most potent teenage brain cocktail to induce love at first sight. Get those hormones raging and that little mustang starts to look pretty hot after only a matter of seconds. Marketing agents have been tapping into the idea that “sexy sells” for years and by the looks of it, that form of advertising is not going away anytime soon. What better way to hook the next generation? You’ve seen the evidence - you take a teenage boy to a car show and expose him to this kind of hormonal overload, you can’t expect his teenage brain to think straight for days. Honestly, it is almost a form of torture - anticipate drool.

The Teenage Brain: Parenting Teens in an Age When Sexy Sells

Recently, I was giving a 16 year old girl teenage dating advice just before the prom and she was expressing how it makes her mad that “all guys think about is sex.” I asked her where she thought that was coming from and she replied, “They are all just so immature!” While that may be true in many cases, it is also true that the teenage brain has to battle more visual images promoting sex than any generation before them. Billions of advertising dollars are allocated to get our kids to buy whatever is being sold, complete with sensual imagery; it doesn’t matter if it is coffee, tennis shoes or a Barbie lunchbox. When parenting teens, know that if our children’s eyes are open, chances are they are being bombarded, often subconsciously, every 7 seconds with enticing visual stimulation.

Think about what happens - a sweet, teenage honor student begins to develop into a young woman and the first thing that changes are her wardrobe. Our culture has confirmed over and over that if you have a sleek body, a nice paint job and shine up your grill – you will get a truckload of attention. And, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” What else do we expect them to do? Wear burlap?

Parenting Teens: A Closer Look at the Teenage Brain

When teenage brain chemicals are released, it is a force as powerful as a Hemi engine. Trying to stop the thought process with a parenting teens lecture when Oxytocin is being released is like trying to stop the momentum of an Indy car on lap 19 without taking your foot off the gas. The challenge is that the addictive nature and thrill starts long before your teen steps onto the track. It starts with a thought – a seemingly harmless suggestion in the form of a photo, movie, or even word picture that revs up the engines. The chemical release in the teenage brain is a trained activity. Repetition: over and over again, until the teenage brain is on automatic release of Oxytocin and other mind-altering chemicals. Don’t get me wrong, these hormones and chemicals in the teenage brain are healthy and normal when released in the proper dosage at appropriate times. It’s like the difference between taking a turn at 50 mph or 65 – the later could lead to disaster.

Understanding the teenage brain is both a right and a responsibility to those that are parenting teens. We have the data and the research to learn the difference between promoting healthy levels of teenage brain fuel through things like laughter, eye contact and encouraging words, versus allowing destructive and addictive patterns through sexual overstimulation. We wouldn’t allow our teenager to feed a desire to drive the Autobahn at 12-years-old. That degree of experience requires the appropriate maturity and wisdom, not to mention time and place. What is your teenager engaged in that is fueling his or her thought pattern toward a craving for sexual activity? Maybe high-octane is not the best choice.

In the next post, we will take a closer look at the impact advertising has on this powerful chemical called Oxytocin in the teenage brain and what those that are parenting teens can do to keep your kids on the right track – maybe even in the slow lane!

Your thoughts on this teen dating advice?

Mama j

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.”   www.DatersEd.com

Teen Dating Advice: Is Your Teen Under Construction?

This article addresses teen’s development and teen dating relationships.

Teen Dating Advice: My Teen is a Mess!

Teenage dating advice and guiding teens can feel like perpetual construction on the freeways. Do you feel like the orange barrels dented and thumped from months of standing guard as the watchmen for the never-ending asphalt trucks and busy workers that are trying to “complete” the project? Is there ever any rest? Nope.

Freeways are high maintenance – so is parenting some teens. But the best teen dating advice is to remember that they are still “under construction” for a reason…and a season. Sometimes, it can go on for months, even years at a time! Teens that look all grown up yet still require some final touches - “I’m really tired. I don’t think I feel like going out. I just need to hang out at home.” Again? Still?

I can’t rush the freeway completion any more than I can rush the full development of a teenager’s brain. It can be a real challenge as a parent to monitor the ongoing progress of their precious teen. It is even more challenging to experience your own teen dating someone who is…let’s say, “behind schedule.” Every few feet there is another blatant warning that you will encounter a slowdown or bottleneck in the flow of their relationship. “I just can’t stand my sister. She makes me crazy! That’s why I’m in a bad mood!” Really, for a month now? What’s up with that? You find your teen exhausted from a constant state of “alert” and from white-knuckling for hours on end. In an honest moment, you hope they realize it’s just not the way the trip was supposed to be. And yet they drive on not knowing where or when it will end.

Teen Dating Advice: Road Closed – Will Reopen in the Spring of Who Knows When?

Whether you’re teen has high maintenance friends or seems to attract high maintenance dates, either way, there is a point at which you might want to encourage them to look at why they keep choosing to go down that road. There must be some attraction. Is it the drama of driving over potholes at 75 miles and hour to see how the long they can take it before they fall apart? Or maybe your teen just isn’t paying attention to the signs that repeatedly point to the high level of repair needed.

Here’s the good news and some teen dating help - There is always another way. Always Teens do not have to go down that road. Sure, that was the plan but they don’t have to wait until they have a close encounter with rebar and wire mesh protruding from broken concrete before taking the next exit. Teens can pick another route. Really, give them some teenage dating advice and teach them how to put on their turn signal and give it a try – they might actually discover that they like the smoother, quieter option.

Thoughts on this teen dating advice?

Mama j
In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers to learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.”
www.DatersEd.com

Teenage Dating Advice for Girls: Your Essential Safety Check-List

This article navigates some of the most important safety tips that teenage girls should set in concrete to before dating, and during a date.

An important part of owning and driving a car is knowing how to perform a safety check; especially before a cross-country road trip. By running through a safety check-list, you can identify potential problems before they leave you stranded on the highway a few hundred miles from help. But without the right teenage dating advice for girls, these problems can quite easily be overlooked; how is your teen supposed to learn that checking the oil regularly is incredibly important unless you explain it to them? It only takes a minute, but this essential advice could literally prevent your engine from blowing up! Similarly, how is your teen supposed to date safely without the right instruction from her parents? By running through this essential teenage dating advice for girls – a sort of safety check if you will – you can save your daughter from a world of trouble and heartache.

Teenage Dating Advice for Girls: The Check-List

 Navigating teenage dating can overflow with high-octane emotional highs and lows. But as with any mile marker in life, there are inherent dangers that go beyond having a broken heart. Essential teenage dating advice for girls can prevent your daughter from plowing head-first into very tricky situations that could not only leave her with emotional scars, but physical ones too. So, if your daughter is already dating, or has to mentioned the cute guy she sits next to in biology class, then it’s time you ran through the following points on teenage dating advice for girls.

Teenage Dating Advice for Girls: Cell Phone

Your daughter’s cell phone might be her only means of reaching out for you when she’s out with a date. Therefore, in the case of an emergency:

1.It should be fully charged before she goes out.

2.It should be with her, on, at all times.

3.It should have your number on speed dial.

4.It should have a list of emergency numbers.

Likewise, your cell phone should be fully charged and you should keep it within earshot when your daughter is on a date. Think car. Does it make sense to live with your gas tank on empty? Then why leave home with your cell phone gauge on “E.” You should also have the contact details of her date, as well as those of her closest friends (and the parents of those friends). Trust this teenage dating advice for girls: if something goes wrong, you want to be able to contact someone who will be able to help you locate and even rescue your daughter in a hurry!

Teenage Dating Advice for Girls: Going on Your Date

It is always best for your daughter to date people that she already knows; perhaps a guy she met at school or through close friends she knows and trusts. When we buy a car, we do our research and what to perform as much “fact finding” as possible before we make an investment of any kind. Essential teenage dating advice for girls is that they always take time to get to know a guy first – preferably in a safe social setting - before going on a solo date with him. When your teen eventually does go out alone with a guy, find out:

1.Has she logged plenty of healthy hours with this person in a safe setting?

2.What are the details of the date? (Who, what, when, where, how?) If you don’t know, you don’t go!

3.Teenage dating advice for girls: Has she agreed to notify you immediately of any changes that might be made during the course of the evening? Any change in physical address needs pre-approval.

4.Does she have enough emergency money in a hidden compartment in her bag?

5.Essential teenage dating advice for girls: Does she understand the consequences of “dating under the influence?” Stress to your daughter that if her date is participating in or offers her anything illegal, she must text you immediately to come and pick her up.

6.Bad things happen in dark and secret places. Stress to your daughter the importance of always going to places where there are people nearby not somewhere alone in his car! Text when you reach each location safely.

Some Final Teenage Dating Advice for Girls

With the right teenage dating advice for girls, your daughter can swiftly handle situations that would otherwise cause some serious damage. Like Driver’s Ed teaches us the essential safety check of a vehicle, so too must you – as a parent – provide your teenagers with their ‘dating safety check’. Safe teen dating does not happen by accident!

Teen Dating Advice for Parents: The Changing Dating Landscape, PART 1

"This two part series explores the key differences between the dating game a decade and more ago, and the dating behaviors of today’s teenagers."

An Introduction to Teen Dating Advice for the Modern Parent

The dating landscape has shifted like a mudslide over Route 66 and is virtually indistinguishable from its natural layout as little as 10, 20 years ago. Remember how your boyfriends used to show up at your front door to take you on a date with his hair parted and slicked down? Or how you used to run to the kitchen every time the telephone rang? Well, now the way teens approach dating is as different as a Pinto wagon and an SUV. Even the concept of dating has changed! Going steady? Ask your teen what that phrase means and they will probably stare at you like a deer in the headlights. The difference between dating today and when you were a hotrod is so extreme that the teen dating advice you provide for your kids can prove to be, let’s say, antique, as good as your intentions might be. For this reason, it’s so important that you get up to speed on the new dating terrain and the kind of teen dating advice that will steer your kids down what could be a very slippery slope.

 Parenting Teens: Teen Dating Advice for the 21st Century

So, what are the rules of the road in dating today? How are kids meeting what they think is their “dream date?” What is involved in courting? At what stage in the relationship do they think it is appropriate to become intimate? What teen dating advice can you provide to better prepare your kids for the new dating landscape? These are all questions that parents of teens might need answers to in order to keep from spinning their wheels when their teens start dating. And since love and the discovery and exploration thereof are core components of maturing, the right teen dating advice is essential. Here are some important things you need to know about millennial dating:

1. Teen Dating Advice: Kids date in groups

What ever happened to one-on-one dating? Today, most teens meet and date people in groups. The group itself isn’t necessarily a problem – after all, developing friendships and being social is very healthy for your teen - but this can result in high-octane peer pressure. If your teen is surrounded by friends that are speeding towards in questionable behaviors, such as drinking, smoking and sex, chances are they are going to be run off course in some way by their friends…or worse, the girl or guy they are crazy over. You think peer pressure is big? It is nothing compared to the influence of the BF or GF. This is where good teen dating advice keeps those little spark plugs from misfiring! Clear the fog and help them see the reality that they will always be exposed to people who steer towards behaviors and habits that are unhealthy and often age-inappropriate. Explain to your kids that they should never feel pressured into doing things they aren’t comfortable with, but be firm about your expectations with regards to drinking, smoking, sex and other socially-induced habits.

2. Teen Dating Advice: Sex in the Afternoon

There’s something incredibly seductive about the moonlight, the stars, the dark velvety night… Or at least you thought so. But many teens are using the afternoon to rev their engines and accelerating over the boundary lines. Why? The hours between the last school bell and when many parents get home from work is when “the garage is still empty.” Parenting teens research surveys have found most sexual activity between teenagers to occur between the hours of 3:00 and 6:00. What teen dating advice you can provide to discourage your kids from sneaking behind your back? Encourage them to be honest with you about their relationships and keep an open road to healthy communication. The bottom line is, when teens are bored or without parental eyes, they have a tendency to drift over that solid line that they know they shouldn’t cross. Very few teens engage in risky behavior in math class. It’s the hours alone where we should post the giant “HAZARD” sign.

Stay Tuned for More Teen Dating Advice:

In my next article post, I will be explaining how the dating landscape has changed over the years so that those parenting teens may provide their kids with better and more appropriate teen dating advice.

Teen Dating Advice: Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD)

This article describes the dangers of computer addiction and the implications for the natural social development of a young adult.

Researchers in China compared the brain scans of 18 teenagers diagnosed with Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) with those of 18 non-addicted teenagers. Differences in white matter density were found in over 20 brain regions. The researchers conclude that their findings show IAD is “characterized by impairment of white matter fibers connecting brain regions involved in emotional generation and processing, executive attention, decision making and cognitive control”.

 

Teen Dating Advice and Parenting Teens

I don’t know about you, but the thought of my teen losing any more “white matter” connectivity is, well, frightening. As one who is Parenting teens, I have many years’ worth of anecdotal evidence that their ability to make decisions, maintain cognitive control and executive attention is already fiber-thin. Trust this teen dating advice: with regards to brain development, they are not firing on all cylinders at 18 and the last thing they need is one more activity to impair “emotional generation and processing.”

By the age of 16, a dating teenager has a pretty good jumpstart on what it takes to build relationships. He or she has most likely experienced some positive validation, boosted ego and even the thrill of reciprocal flirting. On the flipside, he or she has probably hit the roadblocks of peer pressure, gossip, hurt feelings and maybe even a bit of rejection. This is a tough age for relationship confidence and good teen dating advice is essential. How the “object of their affection” responds to your dating teenager can either build up or tear down their sense of self. When a teen feels like they are number one in someone’s life, they tend to stick to that person like Bondo on a quarter panel. Gazing into each other’s eyes, they profess their undying “like” for one another. The couple will look forward to hanging out by the lockers, sitting together at lunch and meeting up at the football game.

On the other hand, if they are ignored or not feeling valued, it can deflate their self-worth faster than a nail in the tire and subconsciously discourage them from pursuing other relationships, even just as friends.

Teen Dating Advice: Your Teens’ Relationship with Their Computer

When I see a teen that is addicted to the computer, my teen dating advice is that at some point that guy or girl is in some way escaping the matrix of relationships by tuning out the world. They have become self-absorbed and the driving force of life is often “WIIFM,” “What’s in it for ME?” As those who are parenting teens, it is fundamental that we realize the computer for many teens is like a motorcycle with only one seat. It is meant for one, only one person and we should be providing the teen dating advice that makes them acutely aware of this anti-social behavior. Imagine how your daughter would feel if her boyfriend showed up on a Harley Sportster Forty-Eight with no room for her to ride behind him? Or if your son went to his sweetie’s house to sit alone on the couch while she spent endless hours on Facebook?

Teen dating advice from those parenting teens should include a gauge for the “white matter connectivity” in all relationships. If a teen nominates their computer for Person of the Year, consider putting an odometer on the screen. Trust this teen dating advice: they are logging hours that will not encourage healthy relationships…unless of course they would prefer to date a PC. But they will find that relationship to be incredibly one-sided.

Parenting Teens: Tips for Combating IAD:

• Teen Dating Advice # 1: Limit the miles – Regulate the use of the computer by establishing the hours within which your teen can go online for both social and academic purposes.
• Teen Dating Advice # 2: Park in a safe place – Place the computer in an area of the house that can actively be monitored. Setting your teen up with their own computer in their room can be dangerous and difficult to control!
• Teen Dating Advice # 3: Pull over and get some exercise! – Those parenting teens should encourage them to get involved in other activities, such as sports, hobbies and social engagements.
• Teen Dating Advice # 4: Operating under the influence – Computer addiction is a way of escaping the realities of a painful world. You may want to try and establish a dialogue with your teen about what they’re going through, whether it’s bullying at school or a tough break-up.

Teen Dating Advice: Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD)

This article describes the dangers of computer addiction and the implications for the natural social development of a young adult.

Researchers in China compared the brain scans of 18 teenagers diagnosed with Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) with those of 18 non-addicted teenagers. Differences in white matter density were found in over 20 brain regions. The researchers conclude that their findings show IAD is "characterized by impairment of white matter fibers connecting brain regions involved in emotional generation and processing, executive attention, decision making and cognitive control".

Teen Dating Advice and Parenting Teens

I don’t know about you, but the thought of my teen losing any more “white matter” connectivity is, well, frightening. As one who is Parenting teens, I have many years’ worth of anecdotal evidence that their ability to make decisions, maintain cognitive control and executive attention is already fiber-thin. Trust this teen dating advice: with regards to brain development, they are not firing on all cylinders at 18 and the last thing they need is one more activity to impair “emotional generation and processing.”

By the age of 16, a dating teenager has a pretty good jumpstart on what it takes to build relationships. He or she has most likely experienced some positive validation, boosted ego and even the thrill of reciprocal flirting. On the flipside, he or she has probably hit the roadblocks of peer pressure, gossip, hurt feelings and maybe even a bit of rejection. This is a tough age for relationship confidence and good teen dating advice is essential. How the “object of their affection” responds to your dating teenager can either build up or tear down their sense of self. When a teen feels like they are number one in someone’s life, they tend to stick to that person like Bondo on a quarter panel. Gazing into each other’s eyes, they profess their undying “like” for one another. The couple will look forward to hanging out by the lockers, sitting together at lunch and meeting up at the football game.

On the other hand, if they are ignored or not feeling valued, it can deflate their self-worth faster than a nail in the tire and subconsciously discourage them from pursuing other relationships, even just as friends.  

Teen Dating Advice: Your Teens’ Relationship with Their Computer

 

When I see a teen that is addicted to the computer, my teen dating advice is that at some point that guy or girl is in some way escaping the matrix of relationships by tuning out the world. They have become self-absorbed and the driving force of life is often “WIIFM,” “What’s in it for ME?” As those who are parenting teens, it is fundamental that we realize the computer for many teens is like a motorcycle with only one seat. It is meant for one, only one person and we should be providing the teen dating advice that makes them acutely aware of this anti-social behavior. Imagine how your daughter would feel if her boyfriend showed up on a Harley Sportster Forty-Eight with no room for her to ride behind him? Or if your son went to his sweetie’s house to sit alone on the couch while she spent endless hours on Facebook?

Teen dating advice from those parenting teens should include a gauge for the “white matter connectivity” in all relationships. If a teen nominates their computer for Person of the Year, consider putting an odometer on the screen. Trust this teen dating advice: they are logging hours that will not encourage healthy relationships…unless of course they would prefer to date a PC. But they will find that relationship to be incredibly one-sided.

Parenting Teens: Tips for Combating IAD:

• Teen Dating Advice # 1: Limit the miles - Regulate the use of the computer by establishing the hours within which your teen can go online for both social and academic purposes.

• Teen Dating Advice # 2: Park in a safe place - Place the computer in an area of the house that can actively be monitored. Setting your teen up with their own computer in their room can be dangerous and difficult to control!

• Teen Dating Advice # 3: Pull over and get some exercise! - Those parenting teens should encourage them to get involved in other activities, such as sports, hobbies and social engagements.

• Teen Dating Advice # 4: Operating under the influence - Computer addiction is a way of escaping the realities of a painful world. You may want to try and establish a dialogue with your teen about what they’re going through, whether it’s bullying at school or a tough break-up.

Teen Dating Relationships: Just A Pretty Paint Job!

This article highlights the importance of teenagers choosing their partners for their intellect and compatibility, and not just physical appearance.

Teen Dating Advice: Picture This…

Imagine your mom or dad took you to a car dealership and gave you an unlimited budget to spend on the car of your dreams (so yes, you’re probably Paris Hilton in this analogy). Naturally, the first thing anyone would do is gravitate towards the high performance, flashy sports models, not the junker. “Oh, Dad! I can’t keep my eyes off that rusty Pinto Wagon!” Sitting low and sleek on the suspension like a panther just waiting to pounce; it’s the most obvious choice for anyone! That, or a massive Hummer; something with a bark as bad as its bite. But there is a catch: once you have chosen a car, it would entirely be your responsibility. So while it is extremely tempting to opt for a beautiful, sexy and expensive high performance car – one that revs up your reputation of wealth and status – you have to consider things such as the cost of insurance, keeping it topped up with gas and the cost of repairs. Then there’s the issue of safety; would you ever truly be comfortable leaving your beautiful baby in anything but valet parking? Would you become obsessed and possessive over your car? “I’m sorry sweetie, I just don’t want to lose sight of you.”

Teen Dating Relationships: Looking Beneath the Surface

The point here is that looks are NOT everything. There are considerations that extend far deeper than the surface when it comes to choosing, not just a car, but everything in life really. What you place the emphasis on says a great deal about who you are as a person and what you prioritize (as well as the size of your bank account). But in terms of teen dating relationships, prioritizing personality and compatibility over appearance will enable you to enjoy a dating experience that is fun, exciting and rewarding.

Teen Dating Relationships and Teen Dating Advice: Trouble Behind the Scenes

So, let’s say that you do opt for the flashy sports model in your teen dating relationships. You know little about the girl or guy over and above the fact that she or he is drop dead gorgeous. Great! Your teen dating relationships are now the envy of the entire school. “No way, Dude! You got a Lamborghini for your birthday? I am so stinkin’ jealous!” Having this sexy little model at your side makes you look powerful and it certainly does wonders for your status and popularity. But behind the scenes of this model of seemingly flawless teen dating relationships, trouble often brews. Your hotrod may be something to look at, but you don’t have much in common with them at all; you struggle to find things to talk about and oh BOY, are they high maintenance! Trust this teen dating advice: teen dating relationships based solely upon the physical and what gives us status rarely last more than a few weeks to a few months.

Teen Dating Relationships and Teen Dating Advice: Choosing Wisely

Once the glamour of driving around in a stunning sports model car dulls, you will begin to find that those monthly insurance payments are beginning to take a serious toll on your resources; that your car guzzles an obscene amount of gas and that you live in mortal terror of it getting scratched. The stress, the expenses, the maintenance… is it all worth it really? When it comes to teen dating relationships, basing your decision solely on the physical will land you in situations of overwhelming disappointment, where you find your emotional resources depleted. Just because someone is good to look at doesn’t mean that they are a nice person… and even if they are nice, they may not be compatible with you. “Beth, yeah, that Beamer is hot but way out of your league.”

Trust this teen dating advices. Spend lots of time with someone before committing to teen dating relationships and make sure the attraction is as intellectual as it is physical, if not more so. You will find yourself enjoying healthier and happier teen dating relationships if you do!

Teen Dating Relationships: Just A Pretty Paint Job!

This article highlights the importance of teenagers choosing their partners for their intellect and compatibility, and not just physical appearance.  

Teen Dating Advice: Picture This…

Imagine your mom or dad took you to a car dealership and gave you an unlimited budget to spend on the car of your dreams (so yes, you’re probably Paris Hilton in this analogy). Naturally, the first thing anyone would do is gravitate towards the high performance, flashy sports models, not the junker. “Oh, Dad! I can’t keep my eyes off that rusty Pinto Wagon!” Sitting low and sleek on the suspension like a panther just waiting to pounce; it’s the most obvious choice for anyone! That, or a massive Hummer; something with a bark as bad as its bite. But there is a catch: once you have chosen a car, it would entirely be your responsibility. So while it is extremely tempting to opt for a beautiful, sexy and expensive high performance car – one that revs up your reputation of wealth and status – you have to consider things such as the cost of insurance, keeping it topped up with gas and the cost of repairs. Then there’s the issue of safety; would you ever truly be comfortable leaving your beautiful baby in anything but valet parking? Would you become obsessed and possessive over your car? “I’m sorry sweetie, I just don’t want to lose sight of you.” 

Teen Dating Relationships: Looking Beneath the Surface 

The point here is that looks are NOT everything. There are considerations that extend far deeper than the surface when it comes to choosing, not just a car, but everything in life really. What you place the emphasis on says a great deal about who you are as a person and what you prioritize (as well as the size of your bank account). But in terms of teen dating relationships, prioritizing personality and compatibility over appearance will enable you to enjoy a dating experience that is fun, exciting and rewarding.  

Teen Dating Relationships and Teen Dating Advice: Trouble Behind the Scenes 

So, let’s say that you do opt for the flashy sports model in your teen dating relationships. You know little about the girl or guy over and above the fact that she or he is drop dead gorgeous. Great! Your teen dating relationships are now the envy of the entire school. “No way, Dude! You got a Lamborghini for your birthday? I am so stinkin’ jealous!” Having this sexy little model at your side makes you look powerful and it certainly does wonders for your status and popularity. But behind the scenes of this model of seemingly flawless teen dating relationships, trouble often brews. Your hotrod may be something to look at, but you don’t have much in common with them at all; you struggle to find things to talk about and oh BOY, are they high maintenance! Trust this teen dating advice: teen dating relationships based solely upon the physical and what gives us status rarely last more than a few weeks to a few months.  

Teen Dating Relationships and Teen Dating Advice: Choosing Wisely 

Once the glamour of driving around in a stunning sports model car dulls, you will begin to find that those monthly insurance payments are beginning to take a serious toll on your resources; that your car guzzles an obscene amount of gas and that you live in mortal terror of it getting scratched. The stress, the expenses, the maintenance… is it all worth it really? When it comes to teen dating relationships, basing your decision solely on the physical will land you in situations of overwhelming disappointment, where you find your emotional resources depleted. Just because someone is good to look at doesn’t mean that they are a nice person… and even if they are nice, they may not be compatible with you. “Beth, yeah, that Beamer is hot but way out of your league.” 

Trust this teen dating advices. Spend lots of time with someone before committing to teen dating relationships and make sure the attraction is as intellectual as it is physical, if not more so. You will find yourself enjoying healthier and happier teen dating relationships if you do!

Top Tips for Steering Clear of Teenage Relationship Dating Dangers! PART 1

This article, part 1 of 2, presents some of the most important tips teenagers (and parents of teenagers) should adhere to when dating. 

Learning to drive is an incredibly exciting time in a teenager’s life. It represents a glow-in-the-dark mile marker in a teen’s journey to perceived independence and all the many freedoms that come with that perception. “Got the keys to a car, no parents in sight…freedom, baby!!!” Teenage Relationship Dating is another bridge to freedom they are dying to cross over; dating can be a measure of who they are and their capacity for love. At this age, teenagers are discovering themselves and their value in relationships through their new freedoms and through what they feel is falling in love. “Josh thinks I’m cute! I AM now validated.” But the road of teenage relationship dating can be as perilous as allowing a 4th grader to climb in behind the wheel of your car! As with driving, there are important lessons that need to be learned before you can simply hand over the keys. In fact, there are important lessons that parents also might want to learn before they just allow their teenage son or daughter to speed off down the Relationship Road. This essential teen dating advice could steer your child away from teenage relationship dating disaster; it could even save their lives! 

Teen Dating Advice # 1: Date People You Already Know and Trust 

He may have seemed like an absolute gentleman when he approached you at Taco Bell® asking for your number. And besides, he was hot, right? But beneath that flashy paint job may be deception. When it comes to healthy teenage relationship dating, you should always take the time to get to know your date in an environment that is safe. “I don’t care where this car has been, what Consumer Reports has to say or if it has been in any accidents…I want it anyway!” If you don’t already know him or her from school or through a close friend, then use group activities or double teenage relationship dating as a way of getting to know them. Do your research in advance. Have a conversation with them over the phone before you agree to a get-together with friends and always before your first date. Establishing what your interests are before you meet, will give you something to talk about. The first several dates should be considered a “test drive” and you have lots of fact finding to do before you sign on the dotted line. 

Teen Dating Advice # 2: Teenage Relationship Dating Checklist 

Do you wait to have an accident in a car before putting on your seatbelt? Then why do the same with a teenage relationship dating situation? The fact of the matter is that you can never be too safe; especially with someone you don’t know that well. When teenage relationship dating, follow these tips to minimize the risk: 

1. Before you invest in a car, it makes sense to create a list of “must-haves.” Be sure to make your list of “deal breakers” and your wish list before you look into those dreamy eyes and compromise all the way to a heartbreak. 

2. Check online. Google the name of your potential date and see what comes up, 

3. Use you own version of “Consumer Reports” by taking the time to research this person on available social media sites like Facebook®. Read older posts, look at photos. See any red flags? 

4. If you had 3 friends that already owned the car you were thinking of buying, wouldn’t you ask their opinion? Apply that to dating. 

5. Adult perspective. I know you want to be independent and make your own decisions however, would you rather use the wisdom of someone who has traveled down that road or would you prefer to drive blind? Get advice from healthy adults. 6. Look into the manufacturer. Parents and living situation can be a real eye-opener. In many cases, the lug nut doesn’t fall far from the tree. 

 Teen Dating Advice # 3: Be Very Careful About Meeting People Online

 

Buying a car online is risky business. Many times, the “seller” will take the money, run; never to be seen or heard from again. Teenage relationship dating born out of the virtual ether is an especially treacherous road to go down. The version of yourself you present to someone online can be quite different than the ‘real’ you. And the same can apply to others with less-than-honest intentions. Adults get ripped off every day buying cars online. The same is true for dating. If you decide to wander down either road, be prepared to gamble it all away. The risk in this type of teenage relationship dating far outweighs the benefits.  

Stay Tuned for More Teenage Relationship Dating Advice… 

In my next article post on Teenage Relationship Dating, I shall explore some other important tips for teens and parents to follow. Armed with this essential teen dating advice, you can learn to date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.