"This article discusses the safety
concerns in dating and using restraint to keep teens safe."
Parenting
teens in the 1970’s was a whole different concept. For instance, my
parents never told me to wear a seatbelt; I’m not even sure if we
had them in our station wagon! Seatbelts and bike helmets were a joke
when I was in high school and certainly not cool to wear. Parenting
teens through the risk-taking years was probably far more
challenging than my parents realized at the time.
The
invention of the seatbelt got me thinking about restraints in general
and how parenting teens is impacted by the ability to keep teens
safe. Teen dating advice may not come in the form of a 3-point
harness and a buckle, but there is some wisdom that can be applied to
help keep teens from tragic mistakes.
A
seatbelt is used to limit mobility and hold a person in place.
Forcing a 30-year-old to “buckle up” when he has never worn a
seatbelt before is much more difficult than implementing the use of
seatbelts from a very early age. Today, even some of the most defiant
teens will get in the car and put on their seatbelt without even
thinking about it. This exercise began as an infant and now has
become a subconscious discipline every time they get in the car.
Doesn’t it make sense then to practice healthy teen dating advice
and limits well before there is a struggle? Cribs have bars, yards
have fences and seatbelts keep our children from climbing over the
front seat while we are driving down the freeway. These are clearly
safe practices. Parenting teens by using intangible restraints is
much harder to enforce but equally as vital.
Parental
controls on the computer, charging your son’s cell phone in your
bedroom instead of his and limiting the amount of time they can talk
on the phone may invite pushback at first but the earlier you
implement and enforce the rules, the sooner it will become a habit.
Go through the mental checklist you currently use when parenting
teens and see what restraints you have imposed – especially when it
comes to teen dating advice. “Jenna, I would really appreciate if
Jake could bring you home by 10 but I understand if you don’t feel
like it. Oh, and by the way, you don’t have to wear your seatbelt
in his car either if it is too restrictive.”
Parenting
teens holds a great deal of responsibility not only to your own child
but the other person your teen will date one day. If your teen is not
accustomed to limits, they will likely rebel against any rules and
gravitate to others that support their self-indulgence.
Seatbelts
are meant to keep people safe, not wrinkle their clothes. Seatbelt
laws are enforced by authorities. Teen
dating advice is meant to help kids keep from fatal disasters,
not dictate what they can wear on a date. Teen dating limits should
be enforced by parents. Evaluate the boundaries you have in place and
determine whether or not there needs to be an adjustment.
Understanding the difference between a good restraint and a frivolous
request will make life much simpler for those parenting teens.
Send
me your thoughts on this story!
Remember
– safe teen dating does not happen by accident!
Lisa
Jander – The Teen Whisperer
In
the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents
teach their teenagers to learn how to “date defensively, navigate
safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.”
www.DatersEd.com
No comments:
Post a Comment