Want to Date Online? Buckle Up With this Essential Teen Dating Advice!

This article presents some important advice to those teenagers interested in using the Internet as a means for meeting other people.

Nowadays, everything seems to be facilitated by the Internet. You can buy or sell a car from the comfort of your own home; you can even learn how to drive without getting up from your chair! You can learn the theory behind operating a car, as well as what all those road signs and markings mean, but do you really believe that this kind of activity could possibly be driven by cyber space? Does dating online parallel your thoughts about finding a car on the Internet? Online dating is as popular as ever and more and more teens are meeting their dream guys and girls through the World Wide Web. While you might think there is nothing wrong with this, there is a whole lot that can be! So, the same way Driver’s Ed prepares new drivers for their first behind-the-wheel experience, Dater’s Ed provides essential safety tips and teen dating advice to those interested in finding online romance!

Teen Dating Advice: Buckle Up!

Online dating for teens can be a great opportunity to meet like-minded people. Your school can get very small at times and it is completely understandable that you’d like to meet some different people; perhaps a girl or guy you know would share your interests. No sound teen dating advice would say otherwise. However, you must know that the Internet is a very large and complex highway, full of people going 100 miles a minute; in other words, it can be very dangerous. That said, it is critical that you buckle up and follow this teen dating advice if you are to avoid a nasty fender bender (or worse).

Teen Dating Advice: Your Teenage Dating Profile

Your teenage dating profile is essentially the way you chose to present yourself to a world of dating opportunities. You want to make your profile as attractive as possible and while there are sure-fire ways you can grab a guy’s attention, these methods also usually grab the wrong guy’s attention. My teen dating advice for girls and guys is always to keep your teenage dating profile as respectable as possible. This means that you wouldn’t turn a dangerous shade of crimson should your mother or father accidentally stumble across it!

You should also take care to honestly reflect who you are on your teenage dating profile. There are so many girls and guys out there that write false information about themselves or put up photos of someone else because they think it will make them more popular! My teen dating advice is to be yourself and be genuine in the way you conduct yourself when meeting friends over the Internet. The people you end up talking to are going to be interested in the person you have fabricated in your teenage dating profile and not you when in reality, there are hundreds of people out there that would rather be speaking with you rather than what your teenage dating profile advertised!

Teen Dating Advice: Protect Yourself

My last teen dating advice tip is that you should absolutely never ever make it possible for people to personally find you. This means no direct contact information on your teenage dating profile. Dating websites are full of unsavory characters with bad intentions and you need to keep a barrier up between these ‘sharks’ and yourself. The question to ask yourself would be this: would you ever hand out copies of your driver’s license, car registration, auto insurance policy complete with address to complete strangers? Then why would you give out vital information about yourself that is 10 times more valuable? No information about which school you go to, where you live, your cell phone number, full name or even where you like to go and hang out. Check your profile photos to be sure they do not contain “tracking” information like a letter jacket, school sign in the background or an address. This may sound like some rather strict teen dating advice, but you can never be too careful on that raging highway called the Internet.

For other teen dating advice, or to share some of your own teenage dating profile tips, visit www.datersed.com

Teen Dating Advice About Teenage Drinking: Friends Don’t let Friends DATE Drunk

This article describes the emotional and physical hazards of alcohol in teenage dating relationship by drawing parallels with drunk driving.

 

Teenage Drinking: Being Designated Driver

The problem with designated drivers is that they are often participating in the same activity along with the friends they have been enlisted to protect. For instance, say I go with a group of friends to a St. Patty’s Day party where the overwhelming theme is alcohol and teenage drinking. If I am the designated driver, how will I steer clear of the keg so that I make sure my best friend will get home safely? Am I smart and sober enough to take away her keys before she puts herself in danger? A designated driver has a tough job – stay sober, keep your friend in line, make sure she doesn’t do something stupid and then deliver her safely home so that she can sleep it off. Teenage drinking and driving, in fact drinking and driving at ANY age, is a scary thing.

If you think that’s a challenge, how do you keep your best friend from teenage drinking and DATING? When do you step in and take away the keys to their heart to keep them safe? How much influence do you have over your friend who is intoxicated with some guy she is dating? What are the chances she will be able to “sleep it off” by tomorrow?

Teen Dating Advice: Double Dating Alone

Here is the reality about dating someone who drinks excessively (and by that I do mean the legal limit). What you are actually signing up for is dating two different people at once. Yep, double dating alone. Think about it – do people act differently when they are drinking, not to mention drunk? Maybe they are shy sober and outgoing when they are drinking; happy sober and irritable when drunk… smart sober and well, just plain stupid when they have had too much to drink! Trust this teen dating advice; at some point, you have to decide which person you want to date. If you are honest and had to choose, there is one “persona” you like more than the other. If it is the sober girl, then how does teenage drinking change your social life? If it is the drunken guy, then how often do you have to keep him intoxicated to enjoy his company? Really, when it comes to teenage drinking, you are only dating half a person half of the time. Geez this teen dating advice is complicated just to write about!

Teen Dating Advice: Teenage Drinking is a Relationship Collision Course

Date a drinker and you will have more problems than you bargained for. You don’t know which personality will show up to the party. You can never be certain when the teenage drinking will stop. You have no control over how they act or what they might be willing to do when they are drunk. All rules go out the window, with common sense in hot pursuit. Trust this teen dating advice: with teenage drinking, you risk verbal and physical abuse, injury, tragic choices, devastating consequences and the list goes on. And it’s all in the name of “fun.” A speeding car wrapped around a tree stops being fun on impact. At what point does the consuming nature of alcohol in the relationship stop being fun? After someone gets hurt? When you say your vows? When the affection turns to abuse? When your children witness the fighting?

Yes, drinking and driving is extremely dangerous, so is teenage drinking and dating. The difference is that driving drunk is measurable, identifiable and within a specific time frame. Dating a drinker? Not so much.

What is your “legal limit” when it comes to teenage drinking and dating?

Any thoughts on this teen dating advice?

Mama j

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers to learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.” www.DatersEd.com

Teen Dating Help for Parents: The Changing Dating Landscape, PART 2

"This two part series explores the key differences between the dating game a decade and more ago, and the dating behaviors of the millennial teenagers."

Introduction to Teen Dating Help for Today’s Parent

In my previous article post on teen dating help for parents today, I began exploring some of the key differences between the dating landscapes now and when we, as parents, were kids. The first two important changes discussed were (1) teenagers meet and hangout in groups rather than going on one-on-one dates, and (2) the temptation to pursue a physical relationship in the afternoon (after school and before you get home from work) more so than the evening or nighttime. Teens are often revved up and heading down a dangerous road. In this article, the second and final installment of this teen dating help series, I shall discuss some of the other key shifts in the dating terrain. The goal is to equip parents with a more current understanding of the ‘dating game’ so that they can provide more appropriate and useful teen dating help to their children on their journey in life and future love.

Parenting Teens: Teen Dating Help for the 21^st Century

3. Teen Dating Help: Kids make dates and communicate by cell phones

Remember when your teen date would show up at your front door to pick you up in the ’67 Chevy? How awkward it was for him to meet your parents for the first time? Well, as awkward as that might have felt, it reinforces a feeling of responsibility in dating. It also gives those that are parenting teens the opportunity to see what kind of partner their daughter is steering toward. Now, cell phones enable teens to communicate and interact discretely; entirely away from their parent’s eyes and ears. It’s not uncommon for a boyfriend to call from the driveway, texting their date that they have arrived to pick them up, rather than knocking on the door and introducing himself to her parents! The best teen dating help you can provide your daughter with is to insist that all dates show up at the door. Yep, use those boney knuckles to knock and wait for the door to open. Face to face with the enforcer of the home who has every right to lay down the law regarding the sweet young lady about to step across the threshold of infatuation. This teen dating help is a two-way street: parents of boys should teach their sons to behave like gentlemen and brave the awkwardness to demonstrate their character to their date and her parents.

(First the front door—then the car door.) Teen guys should open the car door for their date, not because she can’t but because it shows respect.

This “detachment” is not the only problem cell phones cause. They facilitate constant communication, an artificial sense of relationship that can take the place of the necessary face-to-face conversation. So, when teens do get together, they skip straight to physical exploration. Those parenting teens would be shocked to learn how many kids use cell phones for key communications, such as asking a girl or guy out, or even as a means to deliver break up messages! My guess is that teens would rather drive a real car than a simulation game. If they want a real relationship, then trust this teen dating help: nothing beats face-to-face. “Gee, Betty, I can see by your text message your hair looks really pretty today!” “Golly, Jeffrey, I’m sure glad I can’t see you playing Xbox while we are having this heart-to-heart texting about our future goals and dreams!” Cell phones also accelerate news about parties and other social gatherings, which can distract teens from schoolwork, family time and planning for their future. The best teen dating help those parenting teens can provide is to regulate the use of cell phones. Here are some suggestions you may find helpful in creating guidelines that keep teens between the lines:

• Teen Dating Help # 1: Determine an appropriate time to end all calls on weeknights as well as weekends. After that agreed time, phone batteries are charged in the parent’s bedroom to promote a full night of sleep…for everyone!

• Teen Dating Help # 2: Family plan means you get to pay the bill AND check the bill for use. If they want privacy, then private pay comes with that privilege. If you’re parenting teens, then determine in advance if that is the best course of action for your son or daughter based on trust and maturity. Rule of thumb, if they are paying for their car, gas and insurance, they are probably ready to pay their own cell phone bill.

• Teen Dating Help # 3: Get three to five of your child’s friends’ phone numbers (both home and cell phone) for emergencies. Stuff happens and it is peace of mind for everyone to know how to reach a family member.

Cell phones allow for incredible freedom and while you don’t want your teen to feel like they are locked in the garage, they need to respect your authority. The best teen dating help is to allow your children enough freedom to grow and explore, but to strongly enforce rules that will keep them out of trouble. That is why there are “rules of the road!”

4. Teen Dating Help for Those Parenting Teens: Online Dating

The last bit of teen dating help, but certainly not the least - Instead of meeting people face-to-face and deciding, via social interaction, whether a guy or girl is compatible with them, your teens are meeting potential dates online. Those parenting teens can no more keep their kids from shopping for friends online anymore that they can keep them from shopping for cars online. It’s like nailing Jell-O to a tree! The dangers of online dating and socializing may be obvious to those parenting teens, but your kids may be completely naïve. The best teen dating help you can provide your kids with is to insist that they set their social media profile settings (for Facebook, MySpace, etc.) to private and to ignore the advances of people they do not know outside of school or their immediate friendship circles. Trust this teen dating help: the keys to the car are like the passwords to Facebook. Give both or don’t give either. They can be equally as dangerous. Also, keep the computer communal, so that your teen is accustomed to using it where you can see what they’re up to.

Some Final Teen Dating Help for Those Parenting Teens

Remember, with love, support and trust, you can teach your teen to be responsible and to make the best decisions. While the dating landscape has changed considerably, and - with the dominant role of cell phones and the Internet as today’s form of communication – teen dating can prove to be more hazardous, but there are things that those parenting teens can do to steer their kids away from the worst of it.

I hope this teen dating help helps you teach your teens to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships!”

Teen Dating Help for the Love Sick: Break-Up Blues

This article provides teenage dating advice for the all-too-familiar story of a teenage heart break experience. It concludes by giving teenage dating advice from a teenage dating coach reminding one and all that our parents are a source of comfort during times like these when teenage brain development is happening.

Teenage Dating Advice: So you need teen dating advice. You’re teenage brain inside your dating teenager is in trouble. Your teenage heart is broken and you can’t breathe. You have tunnel vision and nothing really seems to matter. Food is tasteless, music physically hurts and your parents just don’t understand. In fact, they don’t even seem to care that you are shattered, devastated, broken. Teenage dating relationships stink!

Seeking Teen Dating Advice: The Beginning

You have fallen madly in love with the girl or boy you have had your eyes on for two years and finally, at the beginning of Grade 8, you ended up sitting next to each other in Math class. They got to know you a little better, you made them laugh; you even let them copy your homework on more than one occasion (ok, fine… every morning… but they’re good at other things!) Then, comes Valentine’s Day, you take the plunge and strategically sneak a note into their pencil case. The ensuing day is interminable. Time passes with the consistency of thick and viscous gloop. You carry your eyeballs around on stalks, lest your love interest walk by and try and communicate an answer with you. But, alas… the school day is over and you will have to wait.

Seeking Teen Dating Advice: The Response

Your teenage brain wakes you up with a knot in your stomach. You get ready for school and over-dose on the perfume and toothpaste. You arrive at school wringing your hands, desperately searching the crowds for your crush. The bell tolls for Math class and your time has come. Walking into the room, you see all the familiar faces and mathematical algorithms, equations and calculations on the chalkboard. Pretending to be completely cool in spite of desperately needing teen dating advice, you take your seat next to the girl or boy of your dreams… did they even find the letter? Will they talk to me? You turn to look at them and find him/her already looking at you… and just as your heart is about to shatter, they smile: “The answer is yes”!

Seeking Teen Dating Advice: The Romance

The following three weeks are a kaleidoscope of kisses, elation, invulnerability, love, happiness and everything that is fuzzy and hops around with an Easter egg in a basket. But like a butcher knife that cleaves your heart in two, your happy union - like so many teenage dating relationships before - comes to a sudden and totally unforeseeable end: “You’re a great guy/girl and all, but I’m not ready for this”…

Teen Dating Advice: You’re not alone

Sound familiar? Men and women of all ages have all felt the keen edge of love’s merciless blade. But, if there is one thing that you need to understand during this heart-wrenching time, it’s that you are not alone and your teenage brain development needs to be guided. The two people who are closest to you in this world have themselves had their hearts broken. If you’re looking for teen dating advice and comfort, you should use this opportunity to become closer to your mom and dad. Don’t allow the pain you feel from teenage dating relationships to creep into your home and family. All the teen dating advice you need to get over a heart break can be found in the love your parents provide and in the knowledge that they understand what you’re going through (www.datersed.com).

Parenting Teens: Seatbelts and Other Restraints

"This article discusses the safety concerns in dating and using restraint to keep teens safe."

Parenting teens in the 1970’s was a whole different concept. For instance, my parents never told me to wear a seatbelt; I’m not even sure if we had them in our station wagon! Seatbelts and bike helmets were a joke when I was in high school and certainly not cool to wear. Parenting teens through the risk-taking years was probably far more challenging than my parents realized at the time.

The invention of the seatbelt got me thinking about restraints in general and how parenting teens is impacted by the ability to keep teens safe. Teen dating advice may not come in the form of a 3-point harness and a buckle, but there is some wisdom that can be applied to help keep teens from tragic mistakes.

A seatbelt is used to limit mobility and hold a person in place. Forcing a 30-year-old to “buckle up” when he has never worn a seatbelt before is much more difficult than implementing the use of seatbelts from a very early age. Today, even some of the most defiant teens will get in the car and put on their seatbelt without even thinking about it. This exercise began as an infant and now has become a subconscious discipline every time they get in the car. Doesn’t it make sense then to practice healthy teen dating advice and limits well before there is a struggle? Cribs have bars, yards have fences and seatbelts keep our children from climbing over the front seat while we are driving down the freeway. These are clearly safe practices. Parenting teens by using intangible restraints is much harder to enforce but equally as vital.

Parental controls on the computer, charging your son’s cell phone in your bedroom instead of his and limiting the amount of time they can talk on the phone may invite pushback at first but the earlier you implement and enforce the rules, the sooner it will become a habit. Go through the mental checklist you currently use when parenting teens and see what restraints you have imposed – especially when it comes to teen dating advice. “Jenna, I would really appreciate if Jake could bring you home by 10 but I understand if you don’t feel like it. Oh, and by the way, you don’t have to wear your seatbelt in his car either if it is too restrictive.”

Parenting teens holds a great deal of responsibility not only to your own child but the other person your teen will date one day. If your teen is not accustomed to limits, they will likely rebel against any rules and gravitate to others that support their self-indulgence.

 Seatbelts are meant to keep people safe, not wrinkle their clothes. Seatbelt laws are enforced by authorities. Teen dating advice is meant to help kids keep from fatal disasters, not dictate what they can wear on a date. Teen dating limits should be enforced by parents. Evaluate the boundaries you have in place and determine whether or not there needs to be an adjustment. Understanding the difference between a good restraint and a frivolous request will make life much simpler for those parenting teens.

Send me your thoughts on this story!

Remember – safe teen dating does not happen by accident!

Lisa Jander – The Teen Whisperer

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers to learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.” www.DatersEd.com

Parenting Teens: Did the Wheels Fall Off?

 
This article discusses the underlying problems that contribute to the challenges of parenting teens.

“I thought I knew how to handle parenting teens. My daughter has perfect grades, has always been very responsible, all her teachers love her and then last week the wheels fell off!”

Parenting teens can feel like driving the Autobahn blindfolded. One sharp curve and it’s a crisis! How can any parent feel in control when they are driving with their eyes closed? They can’t! Yet I coach many families that are under the impression that parenting teens is like cruise control and once set, the road ahead will be paved with love and lollipops. Once the teenage brain is in full gear, that bubble of bliss will burst like a balloon on a bed of nails!

In reality, the wheels don’t just “fall off” a car. Somewhere, sometime, a lug nut loosened just enough to give way to a really big problem. It is a gradual, ever so slight quarter turn of events that might go undetected for months, maybe even years. It is often very hard to pinpoint the cause or when it happened; the important thing is to perform frequent evaluations to make sure no screws are loose. Look for evidence of things that need to be tightened up and then make the adjustment. Maintenance is ALWAYS better than repair!

It is the same with parenting teens. Josh didn’t just accidently, one day, out of the blue decide to smoke pot. His friends helped loosen the lug nut, “Come on, Josh! This weed is sick! Totally makes you chill and nothing matters, dude!” Josh has been exposed to the idea of pot for years and secretly wants to see what it’s like to his teenage brain. And so the loosening begins.

So how do we go about parenting teens and minimize the risk of having the wheels fall off? Can we ratchet down the screws to insure our teen is safe? Will too much tension to the teenage brain only create another problem?

Think of it this way…when a wheel is loose, a good mechanic doesn’t tell you the little noises you hear are just in your imagination. By getting “up close and personal,” he will perform a thorough inspection to diagnose the problem.  Most likely he will go to the extent of disassembling some things to really get to the root of the problem before something major happens. He might even point out that the lug nut was not only loose, but that it was missing and then caution you on how dangerous that could have been. “Well, Mrs. Reynolds, if Josh kept hanging around those friends who were smoking pot and you didn’t take a closer look, he could have been in real trouble. Just a little adjustment and now you are good to go!”

By routinely going over a safety checklist, identifying the problem and not over-correcting, parenting teens can become a series of minor adjustments instead of a complete overhaul. The key is to stay tuned-in to the little rumblings that indicate there is a screw loose somewhere in that teenage brain and not parenting teens by simply waiting for the wheels to fall off.
   
Send me your thoughts on this story!

Remember – safe teen dating does not happen by accident!

Lisa Jander – The Teen Whisperer

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers to learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.”
www.DatersEd.com

Teen Dating Advice and the Teenage Brain: “Sexy Sells-Part 1”

Teen Dating Advice and the Teenage Brain: Sexy Sells, Part 1

Ever wonder why you see a beautiful woman standing beside every beautiful car at a car show? That’s easy - Pheromones and Oxytocin. Yep, it’s the most potent teenage brain cocktail to induce love at first sight. Get those hormones raging and that little mustang starts to look pretty hot after only a matter of seconds. Marketing agents have been tapping into the idea that “sexy sells” for years and by the looks of it, that form of advertising is not going away anytime soon. What better way to hook the next generation? You’ve seen the evidence - you take a teenage boy to a car show and expose him to this kind of hormonal overload, you can’t expect his teenage brain to think straight for days. Honestly, it is almost a form of torture - anticipate drool.

The Teenage Brain: Parenting Teens in an Age When Sexy Sells

Recently, I was giving a 16 year old girl teenage dating advice just before the prom and she was expressing how it makes her mad that “all guys think about is sex.” I asked her where she thought that was coming from and she replied, “They are all just so immature!” While that may be true in many cases, it is also true that the teenage brain has to battle more visual images promoting sex than any generation before them. Billions of advertising dollars are allocated to get our kids to buy whatever is being sold, complete with sensual imagery; it doesn’t matter if it is coffee, tennis shoes or a Barbie lunchbox. When parenting teens, know that if our children’s eyes are open, chances are they are being bombarded, often subconsciously, every 7 seconds with enticing visual stimulation.

Think about what happens - a sweet, teenage honor student begins to develop into a young woman and the first thing that changes are her wardrobe. Our culture has confirmed over and over that if you have a sleek body, a nice paint job and shine up your grill – you will get a truckload of attention. And, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” What else do we expect them to do? Wear burlap?

Parenting Teens: A Closer Look at the Teenage Brain

When teenage brain chemicals are released, it is a force as powerful as a Hemi engine. Trying to stop the thought process with a parenting teens lecture when Oxytocin is being released is like trying to stop the momentum of an Indy car on lap 19 without taking your foot off the gas. The challenge is that the addictive nature and thrill starts long before your teen steps onto the track. It starts with a thought – a seemingly harmless suggestion in the form of a photo, movie, or even word picture that revs up the engines. The chemical release in the teenage brain is a trained activity. Repetition: over and over again, until the teenage brain is on automatic release of Oxytocin and other mind-altering chemicals. Don’t get me wrong, these hormones and chemicals in the teenage brain are healthy and normal when released in the proper dosage at appropriate times. It’s like the difference between taking a turn at 50 mph or 65 – the later could lead to disaster.

Understanding the teenage brain is both a right and a responsibility to those that are parenting teens. We have the data and the research to learn the difference between promoting healthy levels of teenage brain fuel through things like laughter, eye contact and encouraging words, versus allowing destructive and addictive patterns through sexual overstimulation. We wouldn’t allow our teenager to feed a desire to drive the Autobahn at 12-years-old. That degree of experience requires the appropriate maturity and wisdom, not to mention time and place. What is your teenager engaged in that is fueling his or her thought pattern toward a craving for sexual activity? Maybe high-octane is not the best choice.

In the next post, we will take a closer look at the impact advertising has on this powerful chemical called Oxytocin in the teenage brain and what those that are parenting teens can do to keep your kids on the right track – maybe even in the slow lane!

Your thoughts on this teen dating advice?

Mama j

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.”   www.DatersEd.com