Teen Dating Advice About Teenage Drinking: Friends Don’t let Friends DATE Drunk

This article describes the emotional and physical hazards of alcohol in teenage dating relationship by drawing parallels with drunk driving.

 

Teenage Drinking: Being Designated Driver

The problem with designated drivers is that they are often participating in the same activity along with the friends they have been enlisted to protect. For instance, say I go with a group of friends to a St. Patty’s Day party where the overwhelming theme is alcohol and teenage drinking. If I am the designated driver, how will I steer clear of the keg so that I make sure my best friend will get home safely? Am I smart and sober enough to take away her keys before she puts herself in danger? A designated driver has a tough job – stay sober, keep your friend in line, make sure she doesn’t do something stupid and then deliver her safely home so that she can sleep it off. Teenage drinking and driving, in fact drinking and driving at ANY age, is a scary thing.

If you think that’s a challenge, how do you keep your best friend from teenage drinking and DATING? When do you step in and take away the keys to their heart to keep them safe? How much influence do you have over your friend who is intoxicated with some guy she is dating? What are the chances she will be able to “sleep it off” by tomorrow?

Teen Dating Advice: Double Dating Alone

Here is the reality about dating someone who drinks excessively (and by that I do mean the legal limit). What you are actually signing up for is dating two different people at once. Yep, double dating alone. Think about it – do people act differently when they are drinking, not to mention drunk? Maybe they are shy sober and outgoing when they are drinking; happy sober and irritable when drunk… smart sober and well, just plain stupid when they have had too much to drink! Trust this teen dating advice; at some point, you have to decide which person you want to date. If you are honest and had to choose, there is one “persona” you like more than the other. If it is the sober girl, then how does teenage drinking change your social life? If it is the drunken guy, then how often do you have to keep him intoxicated to enjoy his company? Really, when it comes to teenage drinking, you are only dating half a person half of the time. Geez this teen dating advice is complicated just to write about!

Teen Dating Advice: Teenage Drinking is a Relationship Collision Course

Date a drinker and you will have more problems than you bargained for. You don’t know which personality will show up to the party. You can never be certain when the teenage drinking will stop. You have no control over how they act or what they might be willing to do when they are drunk. All rules go out the window, with common sense in hot pursuit. Trust this teen dating advice: with teenage drinking, you risk verbal and physical abuse, injury, tragic choices, devastating consequences and the list goes on. And it’s all in the name of “fun.” A speeding car wrapped around a tree stops being fun on impact. At what point does the consuming nature of alcohol in the relationship stop being fun? After someone gets hurt? When you say your vows? When the affection turns to abuse? When your children witness the fighting?

Yes, drinking and driving is extremely dangerous, so is teenage drinking and dating. The difference is that driving drunk is measurable, identifiable and within a specific time frame. Dating a drinker? Not so much.

What is your “legal limit” when it comes to teenage drinking and dating?

Any thoughts on this teen dating advice?

Mama j

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers to learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.” www.DatersEd.com

Teen Dating Help for Parents: The Changing Dating Landscape, PART 2

"This two part series explores the key differences between the dating game a decade and more ago, and the dating behaviors of the millennial teenagers."

Introduction to Teen Dating Help for Today’s Parent

In my previous article post on teen dating help for parents today, I began exploring some of the key differences between the dating landscapes now and when we, as parents, were kids. The first two important changes discussed were (1) teenagers meet and hangout in groups rather than going on one-on-one dates, and (2) the temptation to pursue a physical relationship in the afternoon (after school and before you get home from work) more so than the evening or nighttime. Teens are often revved up and heading down a dangerous road. In this article, the second and final installment of this teen dating help series, I shall discuss some of the other key shifts in the dating terrain. The goal is to equip parents with a more current understanding of the ‘dating game’ so that they can provide more appropriate and useful teen dating help to their children on their journey in life and future love.

Parenting Teens: Teen Dating Help for the 21^st Century

3. Teen Dating Help: Kids make dates and communicate by cell phones

Remember when your teen date would show up at your front door to pick you up in the ’67 Chevy? How awkward it was for him to meet your parents for the first time? Well, as awkward as that might have felt, it reinforces a feeling of responsibility in dating. It also gives those that are parenting teens the opportunity to see what kind of partner their daughter is steering toward. Now, cell phones enable teens to communicate and interact discretely; entirely away from their parent’s eyes and ears. It’s not uncommon for a boyfriend to call from the driveway, texting their date that they have arrived to pick them up, rather than knocking on the door and introducing himself to her parents! The best teen dating help you can provide your daughter with is to insist that all dates show up at the door. Yep, use those boney knuckles to knock and wait for the door to open. Face to face with the enforcer of the home who has every right to lay down the law regarding the sweet young lady about to step across the threshold of infatuation. This teen dating help is a two-way street: parents of boys should teach their sons to behave like gentlemen and brave the awkwardness to demonstrate their character to their date and her parents.

(First the front door—then the car door.) Teen guys should open the car door for their date, not because she can’t but because it shows respect.

This “detachment” is not the only problem cell phones cause. They facilitate constant communication, an artificial sense of relationship that can take the place of the necessary face-to-face conversation. So, when teens do get together, they skip straight to physical exploration. Those parenting teens would be shocked to learn how many kids use cell phones for key communications, such as asking a girl or guy out, or even as a means to deliver break up messages! My guess is that teens would rather drive a real car than a simulation game. If they want a real relationship, then trust this teen dating help: nothing beats face-to-face. “Gee, Betty, I can see by your text message your hair looks really pretty today!” “Golly, Jeffrey, I’m sure glad I can’t see you playing Xbox while we are having this heart-to-heart texting about our future goals and dreams!” Cell phones also accelerate news about parties and other social gatherings, which can distract teens from schoolwork, family time and planning for their future. The best teen dating help those parenting teens can provide is to regulate the use of cell phones. Here are some suggestions you may find helpful in creating guidelines that keep teens between the lines:

• Teen Dating Help # 1: Determine an appropriate time to end all calls on weeknights as well as weekends. After that agreed time, phone batteries are charged in the parent’s bedroom to promote a full night of sleep…for everyone!

• Teen Dating Help # 2: Family plan means you get to pay the bill AND check the bill for use. If they want privacy, then private pay comes with that privilege. If you’re parenting teens, then determine in advance if that is the best course of action for your son or daughter based on trust and maturity. Rule of thumb, if they are paying for their car, gas and insurance, they are probably ready to pay their own cell phone bill.

• Teen Dating Help # 3: Get three to five of your child’s friends’ phone numbers (both home and cell phone) for emergencies. Stuff happens and it is peace of mind for everyone to know how to reach a family member.

Cell phones allow for incredible freedom and while you don’t want your teen to feel like they are locked in the garage, they need to respect your authority. The best teen dating help is to allow your children enough freedom to grow and explore, but to strongly enforce rules that will keep them out of trouble. That is why there are “rules of the road!”

4. Teen Dating Help for Those Parenting Teens: Online Dating

The last bit of teen dating help, but certainly not the least - Instead of meeting people face-to-face and deciding, via social interaction, whether a guy or girl is compatible with them, your teens are meeting potential dates online. Those parenting teens can no more keep their kids from shopping for friends online anymore that they can keep them from shopping for cars online. It’s like nailing Jell-O to a tree! The dangers of online dating and socializing may be obvious to those parenting teens, but your kids may be completely naïve. The best teen dating help you can provide your kids with is to insist that they set their social media profile settings (for Facebook, MySpace, etc.) to private and to ignore the advances of people they do not know outside of school or their immediate friendship circles. Trust this teen dating help: the keys to the car are like the passwords to Facebook. Give both or don’t give either. They can be equally as dangerous. Also, keep the computer communal, so that your teen is accustomed to using it where you can see what they’re up to.

Some Final Teen Dating Help for Those Parenting Teens

Remember, with love, support and trust, you can teach your teen to be responsible and to make the best decisions. While the dating landscape has changed considerably, and - with the dominant role of cell phones and the Internet as today’s form of communication – teen dating can prove to be more hazardous, but there are things that those parenting teens can do to steer their kids away from the worst of it.

I hope this teen dating help helps you teach your teens to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships!”

Teen Dating Help for the Love Sick: Break-Up Blues

This article provides teenage dating advice for the all-too-familiar story of a teenage heart break experience. It concludes by giving teenage dating advice from a teenage dating coach reminding one and all that our parents are a source of comfort during times like these when teenage brain development is happening.

Teenage Dating Advice: So you need teen dating advice. You’re teenage brain inside your dating teenager is in trouble. Your teenage heart is broken and you can’t breathe. You have tunnel vision and nothing really seems to matter. Food is tasteless, music physically hurts and your parents just don’t understand. In fact, they don’t even seem to care that you are shattered, devastated, broken. Teenage dating relationships stink!

Seeking Teen Dating Advice: The Beginning

You have fallen madly in love with the girl or boy you have had your eyes on for two years and finally, at the beginning of Grade 8, you ended up sitting next to each other in Math class. They got to know you a little better, you made them laugh; you even let them copy your homework on more than one occasion (ok, fine… every morning… but they’re good at other things!) Then, comes Valentine’s Day, you take the plunge and strategically sneak a note into their pencil case. The ensuing day is interminable. Time passes with the consistency of thick and viscous gloop. You carry your eyeballs around on stalks, lest your love interest walk by and try and communicate an answer with you. But, alas… the school day is over and you will have to wait.

Seeking Teen Dating Advice: The Response

Your teenage brain wakes you up with a knot in your stomach. You get ready for school and over-dose on the perfume and toothpaste. You arrive at school wringing your hands, desperately searching the crowds for your crush. The bell tolls for Math class and your time has come. Walking into the room, you see all the familiar faces and mathematical algorithms, equations and calculations on the chalkboard. Pretending to be completely cool in spite of desperately needing teen dating advice, you take your seat next to the girl or boy of your dreams… did they even find the letter? Will they talk to me? You turn to look at them and find him/her already looking at you… and just as your heart is about to shatter, they smile: “The answer is yes”!

Seeking Teen Dating Advice: The Romance

The following three weeks are a kaleidoscope of kisses, elation, invulnerability, love, happiness and everything that is fuzzy and hops around with an Easter egg in a basket. But like a butcher knife that cleaves your heart in two, your happy union - like so many teenage dating relationships before - comes to a sudden and totally unforeseeable end: “You’re a great guy/girl and all, but I’m not ready for this”…

Teen Dating Advice: You’re not alone

Sound familiar? Men and women of all ages have all felt the keen edge of love’s merciless blade. But, if there is one thing that you need to understand during this heart-wrenching time, it’s that you are not alone and your teenage brain development needs to be guided. The two people who are closest to you in this world have themselves had their hearts broken. If you’re looking for teen dating advice and comfort, you should use this opportunity to become closer to your mom and dad. Don’t allow the pain you feel from teenage dating relationships to creep into your home and family. All the teen dating advice you need to get over a heart break can be found in the love your parents provide and in the knowledge that they understand what you’re going through (www.datersed.com).